Falling Down
by Cessy
Summary: Daisuke had had it. He brakes into a depression and leaves the DigiDestined to go somewhere else. But as he runs, he will eventually find himself into the arms of his own nemesis. (Daisuke angst, self-injury, kaisuke, kensuke)
1. Game Over

  


**Falling Down**   
**Chapter 1**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

  


Daisuke ran into his room and slammed the door behind him. It hurt too much. It just hurt too much to see their faces, looking down at him, disappointed and angry faces. They always thought he was a failure, but did they need to say it so bluntly? 

He was glad that his family had gone away for the holidays. He had stayed home because he had faked having a fever, when in reality he just wanted to be alone. The house was quiet, except shuffling feet as Chibimon ran towards Daisuke, who was slumped against the door, crying. 

"What's wrong, Daisuke?" It asked, hopping into Daisuke's open arms. 

"The other DigiDestined... they hate me! I knew they did!" He wiped away some of the tears that were accumulating in his eyes, but he couldn't help it. He always thought the DigiDestined hated him, but he chose to ignore it. 

"Don't say that, I bet they don't really hate you!" Chibimon squeaked, it hadn't been the first time he saw his partner cry, he had seen him many, many times. But he was still worried. 

"They do! Miyako always yells at me, Iori always says that I'm stupid, and Takeru and Hikari always ignore me and go on with their lives! And I always tried to be cheerful, to help them! Wasn't I supposed to be the leader? After what they did to me today..." 

Chibimon only looked at him, his small eyes looking worried and begging him to explain. But it was too hard for him to form the words. He closed his eyes, he could see himself in the computer lab again, during school break. Everyone was there, talking about what they would do to stop the Digimon Kaizer. He had been leaning against the counter and accidentally slipped on a wet spot on the floor, sending him falling along with Miyako's projects which had been put there earlier. 

He winced inwardly. He could hear Miyako's voice again. Anger, rage. _"Daisuke, you idiot! I've been working on that project for months! Now it's all ruined! You're such a useless friend! You can't even lead us anywhere, you so-called leader! This is it! Motomiya Daisuke, you're useless! Completely useless!"_

Those faces again. Everyone had bowed their heads, then looking at him as if everything-everything that ever went wrong, be it in the real of Digital World, had been his fault. He wasn't able to take it anymore, he yelled at them to shut up and to stop looking at them, and then he ran out of the room and to his house. 

"Daisuke... " Chibimon looked at him with big imploring eyes. Usually Daisuke would smile, but he just couldn't today. Warm tears still ran down his face, and he bit on his lower lip, hard enough for him to be able to taste blood. 

Chibimon's eyes grew wide. He didn't want Daisuke to bleed. He had seen Daisuke bleed a lot lately, especially from his arms, but Daisuke had always told him it was okay, that he was only doing that to feel better, and for the most part, he seemed okay afterwards. But deep inside, he knew it wasn't right. He didn't want to see his human partner getting hurt. 

But the little blue digimon didn't say anything, instead he nuzzled closer to Daisuke and waited until he finished crying, which didn't stop and soon after the digimon fell asleep.   


_________________________ 

"Miyako... don't you think you were a little harsh on Daisuke?" Hikari had already begun picking up some of the papers that lay on the wet floor. 

"No, he deserved it!" Miyako crossed her arms, still angry from the earlier event. 

"Daisuke can be a pain sometimes... but what you said was harsh. Plus I don't think he meant doing it, it was only an accident. Accidents happen." Takeru tried to calm his friend down a bit. He had been shocked by Daisuke's earlier actions, usually he would have laughed and excused himself, but today, he seemed really hurt. 

"An accident? It happens all the time! That boy doesn't help at all! If anything, he pushes us further! He's good for nothing! Real world, digital world, it's all the same!" 

"Miyako! Stop exaggerating. Didn't you see the look on Daisuke's face? You really hurt him." Iori walked up to Miyako, who only then seemed to remember Daisuke's hurt expression while she had yelled at him. 

"Oh... no..." She sighed and looked at the floor. "I guess I'll need to apologize, huh? I'll go see him after school." 

"After all, we're going to the Digital world again after school, right? We really need Daisuke and Veemon if we want to destroy the Digimon Kaizer. So we all go to Daisuke's house after school?" Hikari seemed pleased that Miyako had settled down a bit. 

"No." Miyako fell silent for a moment. "I'll go alone. It's my fault, not yours." 

"Okay then. We'll meet back here. We better hurry up or we'll be late for class!" Takeru pointed at the clock and they all left for their classes. 

_________________________ 

  


Chibimon lay asleep on the bed, where Daisuke had put him a long while ago. He silently crept out of his bedroom and made way to the bathroom. He closed the door, even though no one else was in the house besides the Digimon. 

"God, I hate myself for doing this. But..." He took off his long-sleeved shirt and put it on the counter. He examined his arms, bandaged rather quickly. He started un-wrapping the bandages on his right arm, slowly revealing the many scars he had inflicted himself. 

Putting the bandage aside, and took out a small knife hidden under the counter. It was a pretty plain knife, with a copper handle. The blade was a clear, Daisuke had made task to always clean it afterwards. He wasn't completely stupid. 

Tears began swelling in his eyes again, he kept thinking of everything the DigiDestined had called him, insulted him. 

"Shut up, shut up, shut up..." He brought the knife close to a rather old scar, and slowly let the blade trace a trail without cutting himself. Then as he made another round on his arm, he put more pressure, more and more, until the wound finally began bleeding again. 

He loved the sight of blood, he thought it looked absolutely beautiful. Running down his arm, a deep crimson color. He brought his arm closer to his mouth and gently began licking it, savoring the warm copper-like taste. His mouth eventually closed onto the wound and he began sucking harder and harder. 

It seemed almost sexual. His body stretching even though he kept his mouth locked over the wound. He let the knife drop on the counter next to him. It would be all for now, right now he was more into the moment. 

Suddenly it occurred to him that someone was knocking at the door. Or rather, it had begun pounding. He broke away from the wound, which was now bleeding only lightly. He looked around confused for a moment, then he opened the bathroom door. 

"Daisuke! I know you're there! Open up! It's Miyako..." The voice on the other side said something else, but it wasn't loud enough to be heard on the other side. 

"What does she want now... to humiliate me again? To yell at me? I'll shut her up!" Daisuke muttered angrily, now was his time. He walked to the door, not bothering to clean off the blood running down his arm or bothering to put on his shirt. 

He unlocked the door, waiting a while to open up. 

"Well, hurry up! Open the door!" Miyako yelled once more from the other side. 

That was it!! He swung the door open angrily, letting it smash against the wall violently. 

Miyako's eyes widened. Daisuke was in front of her, bare-chested. His arm was covered in scars, one scar had been opened and the blood ran freely down the arm. She could see drops of blood spilling from Daisuke's mouth. But his eyes... pure hatred, nothing else. Never had she seen Daisuke so angry. 

"What do you want, you bitch! You wanted to come here to yell at me again?! You wanted to insult me one more time! No more! Okay? I've had it! I'm never going back! So you might as well forget about me helping you guys." He took the time to wipe away the trail of blood that ran down his mouth, then continued. 

This time, his voice was less angry, but hurt instead. His eyes still were hard, but tears had begun to yet again to fill his eyes. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to. But you never let me explain. You just treat me like I'm a little boy who doesn't know everything." 

He reached once again for the door, never letting his eyes brake contact from Miyako's. 

"I _hate_ you." 

And he slammed the door in her face. 

_________________________ 

**author's note:** boo. This is kinda like an experiment for me. My very first Digimon fanfic! Yey! Of course it includes Daisuke angst. Poor little Dai-chan. This will eventually become a Kaisuke/ Kensuke (what else?) So, erm, yeah. Please review! I need to know if you guys liked it ;.; 


	2. No more sunshine

**Falling Down**   
**Chapter 2**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

  
  


It was late. Daisuke lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt again, since the house itself had been pretty chilly. He kept replaying the events that had happened earlier, with Miyako. He felt a little sorry for how he acted, but in a way, he had enjoyed seeing fear in his friend's eyes. 

He liked the feeling of being in power. That was one reason why he had been chosen to be the so-called leader of the DigiDestined. Although slowly afterwards, the others had proven that he was not meant to be their leader, didn't they? Daisuke wasn't that stupid, he had good grades, he did understand situations better than most people. Sometimes he did act reckless, yes, but it was part of who he was, wasn't it? 

Daisuke moaned and rolled to his side. He looked outside, night. Because his apartment was so high, he had a beautiful view of the city. The city lights flickered. He began to wonder if night ever fell in the Digital world. Obviously, the sky wouldn't be polluted with colorful lights like in the city. But it would be beautiful to see the Digital world basking in the glow of moonlight. 

Suddenly a small beep came from the other side of the apartment. Daisuke didn't move. He knew what it was. It was his D-Terminal. No doubt it would be one of the DigiDestined asking if he was alright, or to apologize. Pathetic. After a while it stopped beeping. 

Chibimon ran across the room and hopped onto the couch. Its small paws held to the D-Terminal and handed it into Daisuke's un-moving hand. "Daisuke! It's an e-mail, I think you should read it." 

Chibimon hadn't been so surprised by his human partner's earlier outrage. He knew Daisuke had been insulted many times from the other DigiDestined. It was like he was linked with Daisuke, and when his partner felt sad, he knew it and felt it as well. He hadn't said anything else after the incident. He was still very confused. 

"Thanks, Chibimon." He smiled weakly, his eyes still blank. He closed his hand on the digivice and adjusted himself so he would be sitting up. He looked at the text written on the small glowing screen. 

"_Daisuke, we're terrible sorry for what happened today. We're having a meeting tomorrow with the elder DigiDestined and we want you to come. Discussion on how we could destroy the Digimon Kaizer, we need your help.___

_ Signed, Kari._" 

Daisuke's hand tightened on the small device, and he hurtled it across the room, while Chibimon lowered himself so not to be hit. 

"Daisuke..." 

"They're... they're using us, Chibimon! They know we're the strongest team. That's why they don't want us to leave. We're just being used... " Daisuke put his arms around his knees and put his head on his hands. Chibimon didn't say anything. 

What would happen after they defeated the Kaizer? Would they just leave him? He couldn't get the feeling that he had been used by the others. His digimon partner was obviously one of the strongest in the team, they couldn't have won most battles without him. 

The Digimon Kaizer... Ichijouji Ken... 

Strangely enough, he thought the Kaizer to be rather interesting. Not only had he been able to control a large part of the Digital world and enslave hundreds of Digimon, but he was the same age as he, a boy genius and an amazing soccer player in the real world. Sure the Digimon Kaizer had done a lot of damage, but there was that one time... 

The day he had learned that Ichijouji Ken was the Digimon Kaizer. He had bowed to him and had called him his master, in return for the safety of his friends, only to find out later that it was all an illusion. But it had only happened later that he had attacked the Kaizer head-on. While he had been laying on top of the Kaizer, the other, his enemy, had looked at him with the most devilish smile. His eyes were cold, although Daisuke knew he had seen loneliness in those eyes. 

He rolled over again and hugged Chibimon close to his chest. He waited until the little digimon fell asleep before he began crying again. He knew what he would do. 

Kissing Chibimon on the head lightly, he whispered into his ear gently so he wouldn't wake him up again. "Please don't hate me for this." 

Then he stood up and left the apartment. 

_________________________ 

  
  


The Digimon Kaizer was... bored. There wasn't much to do, and getting work done at night was clearly impossible. Not only that, but he was tired. Ever since he had left his home, which was about a week ago, he hadn't found much time to sleep. 

  
He leaned his head against the board of his throne and put one leg on top of the other. Maybe if he could just shut his eyes for a few moments, he would feel better. Obviously the DigiDestined would come tomorrow, and he wanted to be prepared for it. 

In the corner, he could hear Wormmon, his digimon partner, breathe lightly as he slept. Honestly, he didn't know why he kept the little bug digimon with him. The digimon certainly didn't bring him any comfort, nor would the Kaizer accept any. He needed company, yes, but not the company of a digimon. He needed.. someone. 

Finally he felt his sleepiness take over him, preparing to doze off when he heard a beep. By instinct, he shook away the fatigue and brought a keyboard in front of him. Multiple screens appeared on one giant screen, all focusing on the source of disturbance. 

The Digital world was rather dark, all there was to see was the small shadow of a person walking slowly through the clearing. The Kaizer cursed silently for the small amount of light available. 

"Wormmon!" He yelled, the small green worm-like digimon ran briskly to his master's feet. 

"Yes, Master?" He was used to the Kaizer's orders. He didn't mind atleast, even though sometimes his master did scare him with fits of anger. But deep inside, he knew his partner was good, that he was very gentle and nice. 

"I'm going out. Get an Airdramon ready." 

"Yes, Master." He avoided his master's feet as he left the room and he followed soon after. 

_________________________ 

  
  


"Real smart, Daisuke. Going to the Digital world at night without even packing anything." Daisuke shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. He never knew the Digital world would be as cold as the Real world. The temperature seemed fine during the day. 

He walked hastily through the tall grass. He really didn't know where to go. Before entering the Digital world, he had thought of what he would do and where to go, but his mind had blanked out somewhere in between the transportation. 

Cursing lightly, he continued to walk forward, not really knowing where he was going. Cold wind blew in his face, and he reached to pull down his goggles, the ones Taichi had given him when he was called the leader of the DigiDestined, but in his hurry he had forgotten them. 

"Well, I guess I don't need them now, anyway. It's not like the others ever considered me as their leader. Hikari, Takeru, Iori, Miyako... even the elder ones. They've always mocked me as a leader. I could never replace Taichi as a leader. Never..." 

Daisuke closed his eyes and fell on his knees, his arms still wrapped around himself to keep warm. His body felt numb. No, coming to the Digital world had maybe been a bad idea, but he couldn't help it. He had a feeling that something would happen. 

He looked up and saw a figure walking towards him. Slowly... slowly... all he could see was the shadow. He had been right about the Digital world not having any lights. But the figure... he only saw a quick shimmer, as if light had reflected off a pair of glasses. 

Just as he was about to get up, cold hands tightened around his shoulder, lifted him up, and then he felt a stabbing pain in his lower abdomen and he blacked out. 

"Well, well, looks like I've found a drifter." 

_________________________ 

**author's note:** Wee! Finally finished this chapter. Still no Kaisuke. Not much, anyway. Sorry for any spelling mistake, either I'm tired or I suck at writting english (which is my second language). Patience, patience, it's all gonna be in the next chapter! I need to write out the big 'Miyako-tells-everyone-what-happened' part. Oh goody ^^; 

Well, I hoped you guys like it! Please review! Reviews make me write faster >:D 


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